obdurate

Out here in the forest, the trees are just shedding the last of their garments; the river has slowed to a trickle and the mountains in the distance are showing first signs of winter white. The peace surrounds us and wraps her arms around us. We long to stay in the silence, the moments of solidarity. It’s devotional time with arms spread wide to encompass the magnitude of God’s beauty and love.

Dr. Martin Shaw recently shared the story of a religious man named Kevin during the Lent season. Kevin was alone in contemplation and prayer with occasional visits to the forest. One day, he stretched his arm out the window when a blackbird landed on his outstretched hand. It was so content that it made a nest and laid eggs there. The world would say, “shake the bird off” but the mystic in us says, “what an opportunity to connect.” This is us. Two internals doing battle.

Kevin took the later choice which required patience and discomfort. He didn’t raise a fist, curse the bird or even complain. Kevin kept his arm outstretched until the chicks were hatched and ready to fly from the nest. Martin asks:

What have I kept my hand outstretched for? How many times have I snapped it shut? Withdrawn? Never once in my life have I felt saintly. You can draw this story with only a few words, but the depth and endurance of it keeps unfolding. Let’s hold the story in our palm like Kevin holds the blackbird, the simplicity and challenge of it. The blackbird was maybe God saying hello.

Jesus longs for us to place our hands in His - to give Him our very life. When the world tells us to grab for the goods and horde our experiences, all our “stuff” and even things that we cling to that are slowly destroying us, the Divine is beckoning us; calling us, “Come.” His voice is there - in the silence, in the middle of the night when I am cozy and curled in my comfort. I step from the darkness into the sound, light and life as He takes my hand and leads me.

When I am obdurate, stubbornly refusing to change my opinion or course of action, He gently guides me, is patient and waits for me to fly from my comfortable nest and open my arms to Him.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. Luke 9:23-26